Charnell Lucich

Posts Tagged ‘real

i-love-being-me

So much has taken place in such a short period of time. Within the last 5 weeks I have:

  • Lost my job
  • Started School
  • Moved to a new City

It’s only a list of 3 things, but when you think about everything that’s involved, it’s a lot! Especially in 5 weeks time. Included in this 5 week period, I’ve had time to do some reflecting and pondering over who I am. Who I want to be. And who I want and do not want in my life, in between all of the madness in the above mentioned list.

Who am I? I’m a pretty simple person. I’m intelligent, witty, happy. More often than not, I live in the moment. This means different things to different people, but to me it simply means that I do what I need to do, when I need to do it. Tomorrow – I tackle that when it comes. Of course I think about the future, but my future consists of nothing longer than /maybe/ a week or two at the most. I’m sure some of you read this and think, “Wow..what about your future? Do you plan for that?” The answer is yes. I do. But I do necessity planning: what bill am I going to pay off in the next 12 months? What do I need to do to get from point A to point B in my life in the next 5 years (for me or for my Family)? That’s pretty much it. You see, there is a very real chance that I may not be here tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year. Because of this reality, I choose to live each day as it comes. These days may include a day of school, a day of cooking in my kitchen, a day of spending it with a Family member, or simply a day of doing absolutely nothing but reading on the Internet. Before my Family freaks out reading this, I’d just like to clarify that there is nothing wrong with me or my health. I simply mean that I could walk outside and get ran over by a bus, or in a local case – a big jacked up 4×4 monster truck driven by a careless 16 year old kid doing 60mph in a 25mph neighborhood.

Who do I want to be? I think this is the easiest question of them all to answer. I want to be the very best Mother, GrandMother, and Significant other that I can be for my Family. That’s it. Do I aspire to be more? Nope. Because these three things are the single most important aspects of my life. In the end, they’re all that matters to me. Again, pretty simple.

A part of my life. Many people have come and gone in my life over the years and a lot of lessons have been learned. Hooooey a lot let me tell ya! These people, good and bad, have really helped shape who I am today. Thank goodness I’m one to learn from my mistakes! These people, along with many people I come across today really help me focus on the type of people I want in my life. Got drama? Keep it. Got 10 suitcases full of skeletons that you like to open and share freely? Oh baby, keep them! Got baby Momma/Daddy problems? Get a lawyer. Feel better when you’re bringing someone else down or talking bad about people? Yeah..keep that mess to yourself. I have very few people outside of my Family in my life. I’ve never been one to have friends. I’m happy shopping alone. I’m happy running errands, alone. I’m happy at home on my off days while everyone is at work, alone. And the few people that I do enjoy being around, I’m happy when I have a chance to meet them for lunch or coffee. And even happier when I return home. I can count on one hand the people that I consider a friend. Re-reading this paragraph, I just thought “what does this say about me?” “What type of person am I?” An introvert? Nah. I just choose to live my daily life doing me, keeping it simple, and more importantly, keeping it real. And these are the type of people I enjoy having in my life. The type of person who is nothing more than simple and real.

I’m not sure where I was even going with this post. I was sitting here at home this morning enjoying the peace and quiet and just started thinking about all the negative things that I stumbled upon on the Internet this morning. Drama. Negativity. Relationship issues. Political rants (these piss me off the most; especially when someone shares information from some random no-name, no credibility news site and taking it as truth). And all I could think was, “man…these people can’t be happy if this is all they have to say, think, or feel.” I mean, getting all worked up over something someone has said (whether it’s about you or not), getting your blood pressure up because LOOKATMYBIGFLAG.com (used for expression only) created a blog post about ‘Murica and the right to own guns, having a different opinion than you. What does it solve? Absolutely nothing. And the only one it hurts…is you. You’re now upset. You’re blood pressure is going up. You’re spewing profanities. You let someone else affect you, your attitude, and possibly your health.

I may lead a boring life and I may miss out on a lot of things. That’s okay. Because I’m happy in my life, where I am, who I am, and who I have in it. I like being me and I like “me”. And the reality of it is…this is all that matters.

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